Insanity Fair

《无题》

2010-10-24T19:40:00.001-07:00

羡慕阳光下绽放光彩的你们

妒忌温暖中幸福洋溢的他们

可怜黑暗中孤独寂寞的自己

阳光下你如此耀眼

呼唤我你如此令我着迷

心动了决心挣脱黑暗的枷锁

残骸它慢慢爬出废墟

阳光照亮了它的视线

暖风让它感受到美好

然而这一切短暂得可悲

越靠近越看清越接近越心寒

灿烂的你背后的影子裂口冷笑

可亲的你手上的玫瑰刺伤了它

它是否你的玩物？

它是否很不耀眼？

它是否已被遗忘？

用心地看已无法判断你的眼神是否诚恳

清醒过来阳光原来如此烫

就快被烧伤它退回了废墟

泪水舔着伤口

害怕捆绑自己

伤疤永远留下

绝望封闭出口

只因你的一个玩笑

它选择继续当旁观者

它永远害怕寻找幸福

Ahhh!!!!

2010-06-06T02:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday went to autocity for this Go Go Green Concert.
Performed ''Earth" with DB Garden's mates.
Had alot of fun with them.
Love our makeup and hairdo!
A great job well done by Da Ming!
A big round applause for him!! =DD
Funny thing is I wasnt excited about having a chance to perform on the same stage with celebrities but ytd night we saw some of them at the backstage we kinda dragged them to take photo with us. Group ones and one by one. We even line up to take photo with them (Sheila and 8tv host) Btw we refers to DB Garden's mates and dudes from danzity dance house. =D
Sheila is so beautiful and cute. She made different posing while taking photos with different ppl. She hugged me! xD
End of the show all the performers had to go on stage to sing colours of the winds. We were standing right beside Rynn Lim!!!
He looks so much endao in person than on TV.
Due to our heights, he asked us to stand in front of him so that he wont blocked us. So nice of him x)
We were like "No you should stand in front"
He said thats okay and insists to let us stand in front of him. =DD
He even promised to take photo with us.
But after we went backstage someone dragged him away. We were kinda disappointed.
Wait, his assistant came to us and said "Rynn promised that he will take photo with u guys right? Okay get in the tent and wait for him alright?"
Then a whole bunch of crazy ppl (including danzity mates) waited excitedly and Rynn came in! =D
I was beside him! (On cloud nine)
And he said "I didn lie to you guys right?"
Since then I have good impression on him.
We all do.
Even on our way back to penang island we still couldn calm ourselves.
But our tired-ness eventually had us calmed.
Oh well, all I wanted to say is I had so much fun!!!
Am grateful for I was granted this day.
Will upload pictures after i get them.
Hopefully I remember la. =)

Life is full of hopes, suprises and happiness.
Good luck in finding yours.

2010-04-27T02:11:00.000-07:00

我不知不觉

又再

爱上你了!!!

别人说

好马不吃回头草

原来我不是好马

ALINA

2010-04-26T02:25:00.000-07:00

原本
我们连点头之交也不如
可是
在短短的一个月里
我们变得无所不谈
虽然
最近少了联络
心里还是常常记挂着你

对了
就是你!
你知道的!

Deceived

2010-04-23T00:56:00.000-07:00

I dont need what I thought I needed most.
How foolish I was.

......

2010-04-12T00:21:00.000-07:00

我真的很累了

我还有很多事情要烦

不要再给我增添烦恼

求求你们放过我，好吗？

你们的决定

我不想知道

说我逃避也罢

我只想好好的过日子

原谅我的自私

接下来的日子

我只想专注学业

其他的

不想了

邂逅

2010-04-10T19:22:00.000-07:00

再次的邂逅
惆怅
不请自来
彼此的尴尬
冷冻了之间的话语
不禁想问自己
你放下了吗?

满足感

2010-04-10T19:07:00.000-07:00

满足感

好久没这种感觉了

虽然对别人来说

这算不了什么

但是当事人的心情

别人体会不了

虽然技不如人

却阻挡不了热血的少年

亲爱的

是你把我带来的

怎么当我决定走下去的时候

你却想隐退

逆境不足忧

不如选择停下来休息

既然喜欢

就不要放弃

要坚持

我知道你有很多事情要烦

你没说出口

我们自然也知道

可是彼此曾经乘在同一条船上

就一定会赴汤蹈火!

(好壮烈)

加油吧!

坠落

2010-04-09T09:15:00.000-07:00

兜兜转转了那么久

才发现

自己是那么的可悲！

愤世嫉俗

是在逃避吗?

那些山盟海誓

是如此地可笑可耻

不堪一击

曾经的风光华丽

只不过是过眼云烟

落幕的故事

还有谁会记得?

坠落的灵魂

视图寻求解脱

才发现

一直伴着自己的是

孤寂

零碎的玻璃

2010-04-08T09:03:00.000-07:00

在太多诱惑的世界
太自以为是的世界

不断任性地放纵自己

叛逆的欲望

来自内心的挣扎

渐渐迷失了自我
忘了如何倾听内心的声音
步伐太快
累了
摘下外壳
却再也找不回当初的憧憬

看着镜子
一样的脸孔
怎么看得越来越心慌

淡淡的微笑

惆怅的表情

坚强的外表

欺骗了自己

太多虚伪的开心

太多伪装的面具

太多隐藏的疑惑

太多否认的欲望

被侵蚀的心灵

终于崩溃

恐惧涌上心头

宣泄在镜子里的自己

零碎的玻璃

被鲜血染红

千千万万的脸孔

扭曲的脸孔

到底哪一个是自己

原来自己是那么的陌生

那么遥不可及

眼泪不断的滑落

滴在零碎的玻璃

模糊了视线......

落叶

2010-04-08T07:49:00.000-07:00

窗外的落叶
听着风的细语
憧憬着外面的世界
终于
挣脱了大树的枷锁
一心想一飞冲天
却身不由己地往下跌
轻轻地着落
犹如粉身碎骨
破灭的希望
狠心不断地重播
时间毫不留情地飞驰
泛黄的故事
随着时间的流逝
渐渐地被遗忘

啊！！！！

2010-03-06T20:36:00.001-08:00

糟糕了。
我好像是闯祸了！
如果是真的，
就算是我玩出火了。
玩吧！玩吧！
终于搞出一个大头佛来！
看来我必须自己搞定才行了!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~

2010-03-03T10:07:00.000-08:00

THATS IT!
I can take it NO MORE!
I gotta promise myself!
NO MORE!!
You will jeopardise ur life, hun!
So get outta it!

Kittens waiting for adoption!

2010-02-28T23:08:00.000-08:00

A friend asked for my help to spread this news to all of you.

Anyone interested in getting urself a pet?

Perhaps some cute little kittens?

They are still vulnerable.

And innocent.

Spread your love by adopting them.

Ill try asking my parents about it.

But most probably i cant get the permissions.

Since im getting a puppy from my godsister soon. =/

So below here are some photos of these kittens.

Arent they adorable!

If u cant adopt one.

Spread the news.

None of us want to see them being sent to SPCA and put to sleep right?

For more details.

Please contact 0164242549/0164242649

Go to http://d-n-m.blogspot.com/2010/03/take-them-home.html

Thanks!

Loneliness sucks!

2010-02-28T22:29:00.000-08:00

This is not what I wanted!
The thing I fear most is being alone.
Now, here I'm being alone.
And this might last for some time.
Its time to grow up.
Its time to learn how to be alone.
Friends cnt be there for you all the time.
They have to go on with their own lives.

I need to overcome this.
Its not so easy.
Things are easier to be said than done.
Once I'm alone for some time ill become pessimistic.
I hate it.
Negative thoughts just come uninvited.
Does this happens on you too?

I resigned last saturday.
I'm pretty sure I made the right decision.
Im glad i quit that job.
But now ive nothing to do.
And there i go again, emo-ing.
Listening to emo songs.
Being pessimistic. -__-
Goodness gracious!
Ive gotta stop all this.

Oh well, guys and girls and my fellow friends!
Ask me out please. (Pretty desperate LOL)
Im rotting already.
I just need something to keep myself occupied.
Lazy blog d la.
Till here. peeps. =/

Complicated.

2010-02-24T05:17:00.000-08:00

What is this?
What is this feeling?
Jeez, I hate obscure feelings.
I hate vague matters and affairs.
Yet they happen alot.
I hate it when ppl hide thier true feelings.
Yet this is what alot ppl do.
I dont care how much u disguise urself to others.
PLEASE not in front of me.
Tell me how you really feel.
Be it good be it bad.
Be it love be it hatred.
Ill accept no matter what, even the worst comments.Really. Try me.
At least I know ure being truthful to me.
I like blunt ppl.
Because this is how i am.
Even to the point of being rude.
But hey this is the REAL me.
I know this bluntness of mine may not favour everyone.
But down the road u might thank me for being turthful.
And I expect the same from every of you, my friends.
Some of you out there, honesty between us might help us solve the awkwardness.
I hate awkward relationship (Not love type).
Let peace settle between us.

Till here.
PS : Well, I kinda hope ppl will be honest to ppl around them. I guess alot of things will get better then. Less misunderstadings will happen.
Ciao!

Pissed.

2010-02-04T06:20:00.000-08:00

Damn damn damn!!!!
Thats why I prefer going out.
Dont blame me for not being a family girl.
Think about it.
Why do i prefer staying outside than home?!
Sometimes the lesser we see each other, the more we will appreciate the time we spend together.
I hate quarrels.
And you dont hav to hit me.
I hate it when adults think they r right just because they r older than us.

Im very pissed and fucked.
SHOOT!!!!

GRRRRR!!!!

Ignore me. Just trying lepas geram.

Peace out peeps.

《夜玫瑰》疯浪子

2010-02-02T05:23:00.000-08:00

Blog reopened!

Here I am, back again.

Ive been rather busy .

My everyday routine was wake up - go to work - drama practise - sleep

It was exhasuting, really.

But i never regretted joining this drama.

It was miss tomato lynn who invited me to join.

At first i thought i might just be someone behind the scene.

Turns out to be i became the main character.

Although along the way we faced alot of problem but i never thought of giving up, and i know some of you never too.

It wasnt as easy as i thought it would be.

别人只看到风光的我们，又有谁看得见我们的辛酸和泪水。

曾经有人认为我们一定做不到，结果我们做到了。

虽然不是很棒，至少我们尽力了。

导演 - 薏琳小姐

本来只是泛泛之交的我们，如今一日不见，如隔三秋兮。

想对你说，

谢谢你。

要不是你（熟悉的对白），我不会有这么一个机会。

一直以来都喜欢表演的我，重回舞台了。

一直以来都对戏剧有兴趣，终于有机会参加了。

也很想谢谢你一直以来都那么相信我，相信我一定能做到。

也因为你对我的信任，我告诉我自己我一定不能让你失望。

音响 - 诗雅小姐

谢谢你在这个月，免费让我在你家冲凉，过夜。

你也帮了我很多。很感激你。

很遗憾的，今年你没演。

没关系，我相信我们还是会有机会再合作的。

爱你！

妈妈 - 宝玲小姐

也是那句啦，谢谢。

你也是帮了我很多。

我很欣赏你敬业的态度。

加油吧！

James - 鸯明姐姐

对不起，我知道我对你的态度真得很不好，很差。

你很尽力的在帮我们，也帮了不少。

谢谢你载我去排戏，请我们吃东西。

也很感激你对我有信心。

可能我的表现令你失望了，可是我想说的是我尽力了。

你的Haagen Dazs (Absolute correct spelling) 我一定会请的。

我说过我会做到就一定会做到。别跟我吵。

就当作是谢谢你和向你道歉吧！

其他队员

由于本人非常懒惰，就长话短说吧！

很珍惜和你们在一起的时光。

打拼了一个月，终于圆满结束了。

我会永远记得我们一起排戏，吃东西，一起度过的时光。

你们都很棒！

希望我们还有机会合作！

我会常叫你们出来聚聚的。

到时别跟我推三推四，不然就杀了你们！

Thanks for having faith inme all the time!

Love you guys!

Still have lots of things want to say but due to my laziness ill end here.

I love GAYS!

2009-05-04T06:18:00.000-07:00

Nothing.
Just simply love gays cause they are so hawd.
I WANT A GAY BEST FRIEND. LOL.
Secretly wish nick was a gay.
Dont be fcuked, nick. I know u read my blog.

~~PEACE OUT~~

爱新觉罗氏

2009-04-01T22:05:00.000-07:00

闲着无事做, 去了爱新觉罗的部落格看一看, 看回涵妃写的爱新觉罗家族的资料, 博得本
宫凤颜大悦, 同时也感慨岁月的流逝... 不管谁都好, 若此时此刻, 你再看着本宫写的东
西, 切记中学时代的朋友是最难得可贵... 怀念去年爱新觉罗家族一起疯癫过的日子(连
老师都不能顶的那一种), 为变态医(实为卞太医)庆生, 在班上唱歌唱到破音, 齐齐演戏演
到老师无奈等数不清的疯狂事件... 最不舍得的是去年我们总在班上笑到肚子疼, 有一次
更加夸张, 笑到第二天muscle疼... 也好, 去年本宫无需担心肥胖问题, 根据调查显示, 一
天大笑一百下能减掉xxx卡路里... 可是今年... 要做多点运动了! 但愿爱新觉罗家族不会
像成为历史, 而是未来... 新年期间, 听到学校广播时段播出的爱新觉罗祝福, 本宫感到非
常温馨... 好吧! 为了我们的将来! 爱新觉罗家族! 一起奋斗吧!

以下便是爱新觉罗家族的资料, 分享一下, 摘自qingdinasti.blogspot.com, 原著:涵非, 本宫修改或添加地方(蓝色)

徨太厚(既本宫)

个性：每隔10秒笑一次，而且是一笑不止 (抬举了!)
脾气：爆燥
口头禅：来人啊，把她给我拖出去斩了！
每日职务：讲话
声量：不小
引导：半班一笑不拔
爱好：骂小雷
偶像：锺汉良，channing,chris(s)（每日更新）(infinite)
副职：青山院董事长

徨上

个性：古古怪怪。爱太剑，太厚说是GAY的（的确）
脾气：简单一句=很牛
口头禅：你去死啦！
每日职务：讲话、跟琪非讲话、跟太剑讲话
声量：也不小
引导：家爆（打涵非）
爱好：孝顺太厚、欺负小雷、把涵非打入冷宫
偶像：不详..因该是自己吧..
副职：泰国办show吧 (太后爆料: 皇上曾到泰国动变性手术!)

健宁公主

个性：爽朗准没错
脾气：没脾气
口头禅：哈哈（假笑）
每日职务：离群
声量：不是很小
引导：排球话题
爱好：排球
偶像：我不认识的运动员
副职：按摩总裁 (常帮本宫按摩)

涵非

个性：不详 (不切实际, 常幻想自己跟潘玮柏有一腿, 结果被打入冷宫)
脾气：不详 (好比天气)
口头禅：不详
每日职务：不详 (很多也, 最主要的是幻想)
声量：好像很大 (明明就大)
引导：（被导）家爆
爱好：当个潘玮柏疯狂粉丝
偶像：潘玮柏、山下智久、黎诺懿、叶健峰、Golf&Mike、Keanu Reeves (也是infinite)
副职：青山院董事（自便的）(她自己幻想的)

琪非

个性：小坏
脾气：很好
口头禅：嘿嘿嘿，你无聊啦你
每日职务：与徨上讲话
声量：好像不大
引导：和睦
爱好：不入状况
偶像：不祥
副职：受宠的人没副职的 (涵妃妒嫉)

小龙咯咯

个性：好欺负
脾气：没脾气
口头禅：yyeerrr
每日职务：加入大人的斗争（挺涵非的）
声量：绝对娃娃音感
引导：集体爆笑
爱好：为自己取名字
偶像：好像是..不详
副职：当假咯咯

小雷

个性：像冷气机
脾气：像冰箱
口头禅：反倾复明，复黄晓明每日
职务：冷人, 勾引徨上(没有成功过)（为反倾复黄晓明）
声量：爹中的最大
引导：大马下雪、一秒钟的肃静, 太后发癫
爱好：乱开枪偶像：黄晓明，谢佳剑，黎诺懿，黄宗泽，黄嘉乐（infinite）
副职：维修冷气机

沈太医

个性：好
脾气：好
口头禅：你吃错药了吗？还是忘了打针？(因为爱新觉罗家族的人都是疯疯癫癫)
每日职务：和事老
声量：小
引导：和睦中的混乱 (有吗?)
爱好：看书（没有人比得上她）
偶像：书
副职：书生

卞（读音：变）太医

个性：善良, 不食人间烟火
脾气：温
口头禅：不详
每日职务：旁观
声量：小
引导：没有
爱好：不详
偶像：港星
副职：港剧迷

冯公公

个性：忧郁（无敌）
脾气：不好
口头禅：太多
每日职务：与徨上和变态医讲话
声量：中
引导：全班港流
爱好：看港剧
偶像：港星（尤其是杨怡）
副职：港剧超级迷

良嘉妇女

个性：不详
脾气：EQ很高（涵非训练的）(涵妃幻想的)
口头禅：我发现我EQ真的很高，涵非
每日职务：让涵非抄[奏折]
声量：还好
引导：因为她，冷气机越来越冷 (苍天可怜我们呀!)
爱好：偶像剧，港剧一律泡
偶像：小猪为主
副职：与我徨上暧昧 (大胆!)

传蕉师 (从Makkah来的)

个性：喜欢骂人
脾气：不好
口头禅：不详
每日职务：与先生打情骂俏
声量：不小
引导：涵非的肃静 (感谢)
爱好：还是骂人
偶像：不详
副职：赶功课机

传蕉师之夫

个性：弱
脾气：娇
口头禅：你不要这样啦
每日职务：让传蕉师开心 (结果是两人吵架)
声量：中
引导：传蕉师一开心，大家就happy (不见得)
爱好：爹传蕉师
偶像：不详
副职：爹神

Tagged. xD

2009-03-19T04:54:00.000-07:00

Remove 1 question from below and add in a personal question, make it a total of 20 questions. Then tag 6 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

1. Crazy stuff u did before.
Dude... Basically almost everything I do hav something to do with crazy. ( At least my friends say so) xD
2. What is your most favourite thing to do ?
Eat or sleep? Eat or sleep? Alright I'll pick sleep.
3. If you are given a chance to reverse your life,will you go back to the past ?
Probably yes. To choose the different path of my life.
4. What do people call you besides your name?
Its impossible list all out. Huang tai hou, siao po, siao zha bo, sazz, sazzilling, siao zho, ah zho..... (lot more)
5. Is there someone in your heart right now ?
Yea. Hes freakin hawd. He takes away my breath whenever I see him. Ladies and gentlemen! Hes Leon S.Kennedy! (From Resident Evil 4)
6. Do you feel loved in this world ?
Yes and no? -Shrugs-
7. What are you afraid to lose the most ?
My cherish ones.
8. What you wish to do now?
To conquer the world! Before that get straight A's in SPM. (duh)
9. If there's someone that you love, would you confess to him/her ?
Confessed to Leon.
10. Do you think you are special?
Yea. In a crazy manner. xD
11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
Uhm... Someone like Leon? Im totally obsessed with him!
12. What do you think is your purpose in life?
To live a ''roller-coaster'' life! Full of excitement and fun! Yea, stuff like that.
13. Do you feel like killing someone at the moment?
Its a YES!!!!!
14. If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
One thing? JUST ONE? I would rather be killed.
15. If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which one would you pick?
Happy!! =D
16. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
Hotheaded.
17. What will you do if you going to die tomorrow?
Rob the bank. Throw a grand party. Drink and dance till I DIED!
18. Name one love song that you have in mind and why?
Love song - Sara Bereilles. I just cant resist the melody!
19. What is your plan when you become an old man or old woman?
Live a hustle, bustle-free life!
20. Do u think your Life is meaningful enough?
Nah. Not till I acheived what I wanna achieve. Lol.

People I tagged:
whooi meen, lee chien, hui jen, yun yan, min hui... 8D

Help needed.

2009-03-19T03:38:00.001-07:00

Bows to sun yon

Turn off your lights for one hour.
8.30 - 9.30pm Saturday 28th March 2009.
A powerful global message that we care enough about climate change to take action.

Earth, day by day, polluted by human activities which leads to global warming. It is time to do something. Let us curb these problems by joining this program and do SPREAD THE WORDS!

A simple job could let the earth last longer. So do your part! =D

Disappointment....

2009-02-24T01:16:00.000-08:00

Finally...
What I anticipated happened...
The only thing that Ive guessed wrong is...
You disappointed me more than I could imagine...
I expected only disappointment but u made me mad...
Applause for you!!!

Missing

2009-02-22T04:08:00.000-08:00

Whispered:
Can you stop the fire?
Can you stand to fight her?
You cant stop the fire,
you wont say the words.

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"

You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

Whispered:
Can you stop the fire?
Can you stand to fight her?
You cant stop the fire,
you wont say the words.

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out;
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something.......

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

Whispered:
Can you stop the fire?
Can you stand to fight her?
You cant stop the fire,
you wont say the words.

I really love this song for some reasons. I guess its because when I found this song I felt unimportant and insignificant just like the lyrics up there (was having some serious friendship and family issues). Soon I realized I was so wrong, some people do care about me.... And yeah they are my buddies thanks for being there all along. Thanks for helping me up when I was suffering from depression, thanks for letting me know I'm, somehow important to u guys. Thanks for everything.

2ndly, I do not feel unimportant anymore. BUT I made someone feel exactly the same as the lyrics. I know I made you feel unimportant and insignificant. I wouldn cry for ur absense. I didnt, remember? And yes I even doubt that one day I wake up and I could still remember who you are, even if one day u left without my knowing I doubt I would notice. I doubt what I told you was true.

Sometimes I think you dont really mean what u said. Yes, I doubt your words. I doubt your promises. Lies, prevarications, I couldn take them anymore. Not anymore. Who knows that ure lying or not? Only you. How could I? I couldn tell. Nobody around me can tell. Im sick of getting hurt, sick of always being the loser, the nonstarter. You can never see my bruises and scars, they are well hidden. Very well hidden. Under the smile im wearing everyday.

Please please forgive me, if u really meant what u said, if all ur words were true. I cant remember how many times I have u heart broken. Did u notice that our meeting has become awkward? Did u notice that ive been avoiding u? Maybe u dont. At least i dont think u do. U were joking with me an hour ago as if u dont know that im laughing and talking to u perfuntorily.

Please please forgive me, someone pointed out something. Something that im not sure of. Somebody told me i need time. I took more than i need. I know its unfair to u. Cant u see, you have the courage that i dont. U trusted me but I dont trust u. I should have been more cruel. Part of me wish that u were telling the truth the other part of me wish u were lying. Contradictions.

Idk unfortunately or fortunately, the latter somehow wons. I wish u never come back. I dont want to be the villain. Forgive me, for being selfish. Why? U will ask. Its simple. I dont trust u. Aint ur problem, its mine. U have sacrificed more than i did, if u werent faking. I never did. I never sacrifice for u. Forgive my selfishness. I couldn do that to someone I barely trust. Not ur problem its mine. Uve gained some of my buddies trust and even my sibling's. But sorry not mine. Too many times i fell. Couldn take anymore bruises and scars.

Its all IF. Somehow now i want to dedicate this song, missing, to u. Even though i dont really mean it. I wish someone could tell whether are you serious, or not.
Im not someone who can deal with fantasies. Im a realistic person. Someday i might leave. Sorry if i hurt u through this post. U said i made u mushy, u somehow, made me mushy too. Lol. Which isnt my style at all.

I wish to dedicate this to you alex. Im sorry for everything. Really, I am.

灰蓝的心情

2008-12-14T01:51:00.000-08:00

不知怎么搞的，
最近的心情都很blue...
心情的起伏也很大...
总觉得很忧郁...
或许你会说
我还是老样子，
疯疯颠颠，无聊三八，开开心心地过日子...
其实我一点都不开心...
或许你会说我看起来很开心呀！
其实那是装出来的...
心里好像在为某些事烦恼困扰..
可是我竟然不知道自己为了什么事而忧郁！（可悲啊！）
友人劝我不要想太多...
于是我就天天好像很开心地过日子...
可是那种开心的感觉很虚伪，
不在是已以往那种真诚，睡觉也会笑的开心了...
如果你看得出我在装，
那我真的要颁超级了解ks奖给你...

越是不想，越是辛苦...
可是想来想去...
还是没有头绪...
而且思想愈来愈悲观....
以前的我，
在哪里？
消失了吗？？
蒸发了吗？？？
我不想变成悲观主义者...
感觉一点都不好受...
我不想再装开心了！
我要找出问题根源！！
我要尽快解开我的心结！！！
可是....
有谁可以帮我吗？？？
没有...
没有人可以...
天？
可以吗？
可以帮我找出问题的根源吗？
可以帮我找回以前那个乐观主义的我吗？
唉～
看来我还是得靠我自己..............

心情：灰蓝

～结束～

PASS 了！！！！

2008-12-12T22:17:00.000-08:00

刚考完 undang-undang ，PASS 了！！！
我这种乱来的人居然能一次过关！！
奇迹呀！！！！！
或许我天生冰雪聪明吧！哇哈哈哈哈哈哈哈～
友人告诉我很容易过关。。。
可是。。。我还是担心。。。
人之常情啊！
考之前，考官问别人考第几次了？
我一直听到两次以上！
第一次的人。。。少得可怜～
我能过关，其实也不是因为我冰雪聪明啦，靠运气！
吾向来很有考试运气哦！＾________^

刚看了小蕾的部落格。。。
看到。。。。
黃長興！！！
昏了～
当真是被他的 high voltage 电到。。。。
我焦了！！！ T_________T
可是。。。
还是蛮享受被他电的感觉。。。
哈哈哈～

变态！ -____-ll

我越来越觉得我很冷！
都是小蕾的错！！！
星期一绝对不放过她！！！！

到此结束
谢谢！

无聊到爆!

2008-12-10T21:40:00.001-08:00

警告：此 post 含有炸药成分，若要看者，必三思而行，任何损伤本人将不负上任何责任！

假期真是闷到爆！
刚问小蕾有什么事可以做，
她叫我update部落格，
想一想。。。
我的确几个世纪没有动到我的部落格，
有点惭愧！哈哈
其实我也没有什么想跟大家分享，
只是为了让我的部落格有一点新东西，
也为了应酬朋友。。。
哇哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈～
就此告辞了！
假期愉快！！！

Unexpectable ● Life

2008-10-13T06:54:00.000-07:00

Life is unexpectable. Few days ago got a bad news from my friend that one of my junior passed away. Today another bad news. My classmate who sits in front of me lost his dad forever. It may drastically change her life forever. God bless her and her family and her dad of course.

All of a sudden, I'm scared. I'm afraid that I might lost my loved ones.

A friendly advice to all of you. Treasure ur loved ones before anything happens. You don't know what will happen next.

I just wanna say that I LOVE U GUYS ( wm, lc, sw, hx, poh, kas, nick, ade )

No matter what happens, u guys will always be my BFF!!!!

I know its cheesy but I must say it cuz life is unexpectable, right? =D

Spot Check?!

2008-09-19T05:16:00.000-07:00

HEyyy!!! I know its been a long time since I last updated my blog despite the "hidden meaning behind my name."

Okay! So its pretty obvious that I'm going to write something about SPOT CHECK!!

Today, when i was trying to finish my moral papers and suddenly i heard a voice from exactly 5 o' clock from my position. The particular prefect said something like " Please put down ur hands we r having a spot check right now." I was totally freaked out, i secretly screamed "WAT THE HELLLLLLL" in my mind. I quickly took out my correction pen from my pencil box (To whom who dono, my school doesn't allow us to bring correction pen) and threw it into my pinafore and i was sitting at the time so it didn fall out.

"I'm soooooooo dead" I repeated this sentence for like a million times in my heart. Because i doubted i could get away with this. And whn i look down i saw a pen shape around my belly. This prefect came and ask permission from me to check my files, books and my bag. While she checked, i felt antsy. I pretended holding a book but actually i was using it to covered up my belly side while i moved the correction pen to the lower part of my belly so it wont be so obvious.

I could really felt the fretfulness of the ambiance. I saw many prefects jotting down my friends school number. All of the sudden, the prefect who was checking my stuff suddenly ask me to stand up. I nearly swoon over my chair. SHIT!! I was worrying that my correction pen would fall out from my pinafore. I stand up in a very slow motion to avoid the awkward situation from happening. I pressed my "belly" against the table. PHEW~ It didn fall out!

I'M SAVED

The =) news is i duped the prefect and was saved!! The =( news is many of my classmates was caught. Ahhhhhhhhhhh~ Pity them~

NEwaybecause of this "suprise visit" from our dearest prefects. I nearly couldnt finish my moral paperworks! Thanks to u prefects! =S But i still manage to finish it with my super dooper writing speed and in consequence my writing were like "cacated". Erm like chicken wrinting, cakar ayam. =D

Till here. Ciao! Oh and good day everyone!

What's Hidden Behind My Name!

2008-09-12T07:07:00.001-07:00

What Leekahsing Means

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.
You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.
People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.
You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.
Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

THATS SO TRUE!!! WAKAKAKAKA~

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Jesse McCartney and Actors of Age Of Glory

2008-05-28T00:40:00.000-07:00

I watched Horton Hears A Who, there's this little boy named Jojo (Sometimes u just hav to wonder how parents name their children, i tot Jojo is a girl's name!) which is the mayor's son, his voice was great, he only spoke during the last part of the movie. And he sang. Just a small part though. Wateva. His voice was definitely catchy. I wondered who he is. So i check it online and found out it was Jesse McCartney who voiced Jojo. No wonder Jojo's voice sounded so familiar to me, its the voice of one of my favourite male singers!!! NEway Jesse oso voiced as Theodore Seville in Alvin and The Chipmunks (film). But I didn know it was him becuz the voices were all chipmunked. I know some of u already know but I am informing those who dont know.

I wanted Jesse McCartney's latest album, Departure so badly!!! And finally I got it today!!!! YAY!! But I havent start listening yet, maybe ltr. My friends said his new songs sounds weird but i dont care i just want to listen to his voice. His voice is great, catchy, wonderful. To me. But i like the old Jesse more, dono why, I just like the old Jesse more. The current Jesse is..... I cant find a word to describe it. Probably becuz he became mature. Nvrtheless, his physical appearance changed. Everyone grows up and chg right?

NEway here's Jesse McCartney's Departure poster.

Age Of Glory...
Last sunday i went to queensbay mall with my family and Hanlei. We separated with my family and went to find Hx. But too bad she had to accompany her mum so we didn walk together. Hanlei suggested us to see the Age of glory publicity since the actors and actresses r coming. I agreed and went with her. The main purpose that caused my parents went to queensbay mall was to see them too. Hanlei was all excited abt it. I wanted to leave but since it was the first time for Hanlei to see artists so i decided to accompany her. Afterall we r besties.
Hanlei was awesome, we were standing behind the crowd at first but i dono how she managed to get us to the first line!! I was impressed. Good job Hanlei!!!

Here's a few photos we took that day.

Leslie Chai and 王淑君 were really good in posing. U can refer to the photos I uploaded up thr. As i was standing faraway from 王淑君 and Melvin Sia I couldn take a close pic of them. 李名仲was very friendly and so were the other actors and actresses. Leslie was really cute. He kept sticking out his tongue to let us take his photos. But i didn take any tongue-sticking-Leslie photos but luckily Hanlei managed to get some. And i regretted i didn take the posters. HAIZ.
NEway i managed to took a close pic of Melvin Sia. Well actually i took 3. But thr was this malay guy blocking his face! Whn I press the button HE JUST APPEARED AND BLOCKED MY BLOODY CAMERA. Damn it. Luckily i still hav one. But its pretty dark. Nvm at least i got one.

Till Here.

Catch up with u guys ltr. Have a nice day!!!

Re4

2008-05-27T04:43:00.000-07:00

I am playing re4 recently ( I know I know its an old game, not really old but not new either. ) I bought it last year or maybe longer but I never get a chance to play it becuz i was busy! ( Dont ask me wat was i busying for, cuz i'm not gonna tell u ) I smelled gas. Nevermind that. Whn i started playing this game whch was on last year, my pc kept spoling becuz of viruses. So i had to reformat reformat reformat and reformat. My pc was like a magnet to viruses!!! Lets get back to the point, so my save game was also gone whn my dad reformat my pc. I got fed up becuz i hav to start over again again and again. Which is frustrating.

So i started playing back this game recently becuz I run out of game to play with. And it felts great! Why? Because I LOVE LEON!!!! I'm crazy and I know. I guess game lovers would love him becuz he's sooo freaking hawd!! No doubt for that. For those who r not familiar with Leon wait till u see this!!!

Isnt he hawd? *drooling*

Maybe not to u but to me he's all.

I will die for him!!! But too bad he's not real.

NEway I also like Ada Wong another real hawd character in re4, commonly known as resident evil 4 or biohazard 4 ( wateva u call that )

As a woman she's really cool! She's right up thr standing beside Leon. But i'm not gonna love her cuz i'm not homosexual.

Well, I'll stop here. Darling Yon see I have Leon's better posters. He looks much more hotter thn urs!!!! ( I know ure looking dont blow urself up!!! Teehee~ )

CIAO!!!!!!!

累了

2008-05-26T06:21:00.000-07:00

忽然很想用华语写下我的心情。。。
华语比较能够表达我所要表达的。。。
其实一直以来都想用华语写blog，不过我懒惰。。。
用英语写比较快。。。
不过今天我心血来潮，所以就用华语写咯！

坚强
其实很累
被朋友依靠
自己依靠自己
能不累吗？
这么多年来
都是这样
今天
忽然很想找一个人来依靠
不一定要是情人，可以是朋友、家人
不过早已习惯靠自己的生活
看似最强悍的朋友
也都在我面前哭了
有时真想哭
却哭不出
我是不是没有眼泪
难道眼泪系统出了问题？？？
有时真不知道自己是逞强还是坚强
我想说的是
走了那么多不知道是逞强还是坚强的路
累了
应该停下来休息了。。。

Love In First Sight?

2008-05-26T05:40:00.000-07:00

She was the one who didn believe whatsoever in what they called Love In First Sight. She was the one who vowed that she wouldn fall in love at the first sight. But now she regretted what she said. She could see she had made a vow that was easier said than done.

As strains of Penny Tai floated in the background, they sang along. "This song matches my feelings yday." L said abruptly. She nodded approvingly. " Ours." she added after awhile. How they wished that time would stop just like that whn they were so close to him. Both of them r best friends. Both of them r in love with the very same man. This time, she did not idolize this man, he's not just a crush, the feelings of hers towards him is soooo different from others. She couldn stop thinking about him, so is L. Although L is much more worse. ( Haha. sorry L but I really hav to say it!!!! ) She knew it was love in first sight, 一见钟情!!!!

She couldn get him outta her mind, she tries and fails. (Take note that i'm using present tenses becuz she's still trying xD ) All these years, she had been changing crushes like she changes her clothes everyday. She never really like all these crushes ( I dont know if crushes r appropriate here so i just used it ) , it was like for fun. Until she met him. even if they just met a day ago, it felt like years to her. She wanted to see him every now and then, she's always thinking about him, for examples, what is he doin? Is he happy? Whr is he? etc. Whn she knew he was leaving she was devastated. It is torturing. She's suffering from love sick. Even she knows that he wouldn even notice her, she's still in love with him, frantically and drastically in love. And she finally understands why people would say love is torturing becuz she being torture by its devil.

People may ask why r u in love with him whn this guy doesn even notice that u exists! "A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love" quoted by Stendhal, whoever he is. And it speaks out what she thinks. And maybe you may ask, whats her hope? Its for us to know, for you to guess.

Be Smart or Not?

2008-05-26T05:01:00.000-07:00

I guess being smart is one thing that everyone wants. Maybe not everyone cuz i'm not categorized in that group, but probably most of the people. I look around myself n see alot of faces. Faces that might be familiar or unfamiliar to me. What r they thinking I sometimes wonder. Smart people would know, people who r really smart can figure out what people r thinking and give the appropriate response. But wouldn it be exhausting? I thought being urself, do everythg u want is "all that". Smart people tend to see eveythg clearly and nvr miss out any details. Like I always quoted "Nobody is perfect nor anything". When u see things completely like what they really are, u will feel somewhat irritated. ( p/s : I cant find any appropriate words to describe my feelings so i just substituted irritated for that )

What am i talking about? See there i go rambling again. Nevermind i just want to spit out my thoughts.

Alright where did i stop? Oh ya, okay I believe behind evrything thr's a dark side. Just like everyone, even myself, thr's a devil deep inside waiting for its time to appear. Or maybe the devil is taking over one's body masquerading as an angel. Nevermind that. What I really want to say is if u ask me be smart or not? I'd answer u not. Y? Cuz i dun wan to see the dark side of life, I dun wan to know the bad news behind every good news.

Sometimes I wished i were simple-minded. Everything would probably look good. The world is getting complicated, people r getting complicated, but i really wish i were not that complicated maybe simple minded or even stupid so i wouldn see or will not see the dark side of life.

So what will u choose? Be smart or not??

Enough is ENOUGH!

2008-04-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

Okay! I really really had enough! We all had enough! Stop acting like a spoilt brat! U ANNOYED US!! We have feelings too! Please dont expect so much from us. Dont expect us to tolerate with u all the time like u r the queen. Even if u really r a queen, so what? We wont tolerate with ppl with such hatable behaviour!

Everyday i go to school with a =) mood, but whenever u r around my mood goes =(

And finally I had enough! Stop acting like u r a champion or ruler or watever!!!! U r sooo dependant n irresponsible!!! So now u finally got ur stupid president post like u've wished, but u just leave all ur duties to me and her and do NOTHING! If u ask me to do, its okay, but why her?!?!?! SHE'S NOT EVEN A MEMBER OF OUR CLUB!! And whn u r suppose to do the cleaning duty u ask her to do for u!Wat do u think she is? A maid of urs? Go to hell!!!!

I understand everyone has a hatable side but u know wat? We gave u chances to change, but u doesn seems to care? And whn we try to tell u to change ur attitude, u got angry! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! U always criticize n insult ppl and embaress them in front of the public. But whn someone criticizes u, u will angry for the whole day and think that they should be sorry. As if u r the greatest. U criticize ppl just to make urself better. Stop lying to urself! NOBODY IS PERFECT!

U always wanted to be the center of attraction, the best, the prettiest, the smartest... Tell u what, u were like that in my heart! But guess wat, U R THE WORST NOW! I didn know u r like that until i get to know u more. And ur bloody attitude seems to get serious as time passes by. Whoa! I need a break! Tolerations? NO MORE FOR U!

U expect us to listen to u all the time, compliment u on everthg u've done even if we dont like it at all? No, this is not wat true friends do. True friends will advice u on ur problems, cheer u up whn u r in a depression, advice u on ur bad attitudes etc. What have u done for us? Give sarcastic comments whn we r suffering from problems? Give us present to show that u care?? True friends connect to each other with their hearts not "stuff".

When u went to msspp, all of us were soooo happy and i really mean it! We were never that relax n carefree before. Sry for being so cruel, but we really enjoy ur absence!

I advoided u becuz i dont want to see ur attitude and get angry. I still treat u as a friend I wanted u to change. But thn u cried and said somethg which angered me and her! U never think bout why ppl treat u badly but only complained how cruel this world is. Ur tears will not arouse sympathy but only rage.

So today i acted really rude to u. And u were mad at me. Thank GOD!!!! U didn talk to me for the rest of the day! U know wat, I'M SO GLAD!!! For the sake of myself, i wish that u stay angry with me for the rest of ur life!! U think ur anger will make me feel sorry? Haha. Like i care!! GET A LIFE!!!! Stop being so pathetic!!!!

Phooooo, i feel good after writing this. I sincerely hope "u" will get a chance to read my blog, especially this post!

I apologize if anyone find this post offensive. I'm trying to let go my rage towards her. Really sorry if i offended some of u!!!!

End of story!!! Have a nice day!!! Ciao!

Friends!

2008-02-29T06:29:00.000-08:00

Last Friday, I was so furious about a friend, a very good friend to me. Yes, i admit that i was often angry about her, sometimes she can be very annoying and irritating, and yes i know that she knows i hate it whenever her annoying sides taken control over her body. But i never heard any complaints from her. Let her be A. So i bad-mouthed about her in front of my B friend.

On the way back home, when I was in my school bus, I kinda regret what I said to my B friend. I remembered those moments when I'm suffering from depression or in a bad mood, she never seems to get fed up with my stubborn side. I remembered those time she helped me and the fun times we had together (Of course including my gang). And I felt shame on what I've done. I always loathe backstabbers, but today I became one of those I despise so much. Shame on me!!!!!

I would like to say sorry to those I've hurt before. Thank you to my friends for being so understanding and stand me for such a long time ( Your patience impressed me :D)

I found out that we often expect more and more from a particular person once you and her/him is getting closer and closer. And maybe because of this I kinda want them to please me every moment and tend to get angry very easily bout some of thier actions. But before you grumble about someone, please think about yourself first. Do your actions often offended someone but you never notice? Do you apologize when you did something wrong? Do you have the same hatable personality that you always hated and complain bout? I believe not much people can do that... If you can, you must be a nice and wonderful person and dont gossip much.

Nobody is perfect, everyone has both bad and good side. People tend to see the negative part of life or something and ignore the positive part. This makes them so sympathize with thier own wretchedness. Be satisfy! There are much more people who are much more worse than you! Appreciate what you have now and stop grumbling about your life! Look around yourself! You have so many friends and family beside you. Yes, sometimes they can be really irritating,but at least they share your joy and sadness with you, always be there for you.

I would like to say this to those who make my life so colourful and full of joy. I will try to change my volatile personality (which is rather impossible) for betterment. I appreciate what we have gone through together. I will trasure the presence of my loved ones!
Girls, you rock my life!!!!

My first blog!

2008-02-19T06:43:00.000-08:00

Today is a day which is not differ by other days...There i go, start crapping... Well, school turns out to be just as bored as usual... And we had assembly today, i dun have to tell u guys how assembly sounds like cause most of u must have gone thru it or still suffering from the same thing.... For those who dont really know much about assembly, let me explain to u... Its something like teachers crapping or complaining our discipline, students chatting, people yawning, pupils dreaming.... Get the picture already? If no, shame on you...xD

Today, people around me start to talk about exam!!! Next month's 3rd to 6th we r going to have EXAMINATIONS!!!! For those who dont really know wat examinations are, let me explain to u... Its something like humiliation to those who r not really interested in studies or not good in studies but other stuff, doom to those who r lazy yet gotta pass their examinations with flying colours due to pressure given by adults, and showing off time for those who r gifted with a super dooper brain and so on.... I'm the second type which means i'm DOOM!!!!

Luckily, i'm those happy go lucky type... So i dont really wanna care bout it anymore....

NEway, i'm sooooo looking forward to charlotte's birthday party, we had alot of fun during chirst's bday party on last saturday!!! Next up charlotte's!!!! And i'll be her party game planner!!!! Muahahahahahha....

Gotta stop here, better go get some Zzz before i break down!

Hugss!!!
Sazzy~

Insanity Fair

《无题》

Ahhh!!!!

ALINA

Deceived

......

邂逅

满足感

坠落

零碎的玻璃

落叶

啊！！！！

Kittens waiting for adoption!

Loneliness sucks!

Complicated.

Pissed.

《夜玫瑰》 疯浪子

I love GAYS!

爱新觉罗氏

Tagged. xD

Help needed.

Disappointment....

Missing

灰蓝的心情

PASS 了！！！！

无聊到爆!

Unexpectable ● Life

Spot Check?!

What's Hidden Behind My Name!

Jesse McCartney and Actors of Age Of Glory

Re4

累了

Love In First Sight?

Be Smart or Not?

Enough is ENOUGH!

Friends!

My first blog!

《夜玫瑰》疯浪子